Why Does OCD Attach to Values?
If you have lived experience with OCD, you may have noticed how often it’s misunderstood or portrayed in ways that don’t fully reflect your experience. You might even wonder why your symptoms look different from what you’ve seen or heard about, and this can quickly spiral into doubting whether you even have OCD at all. That’s because OCD isn’t one-size-fits-all. It shows up uniquely for each person, attaching itself to what you value most—your relationships, your identity, your safety, or the things you care deeply about.
OCD is driven by the brain's threat detection system. Everyone has an alarm system in their body that helps them respond to real life danger, this is normal. However, when someone has OCD, their body's alarm system is constantly giving them false alarms. It is attempting to communicate to them that there is a real danger in front of them. The problem is that there is no real danger, the body is only interpreting uncertainty as if it were dangerous. The more something matters to an individual the louder the false alarm becomes. This disorder can feel cruel when all it's trying to do is protect you. This is one of the many reasons it is ranked as one of the top ten most debilitating disorders in the world, by the world health organization. OCD is taking control of one's natural nervous system response and forcing a red alert when the situation does not require an extreme reaction.
When you or someone you love is getting constantly flooded with messages of danger, it becomes crippling and overwhelming. Their world will start to become smaller. This is not out of desire, but out of fear and a feeling of inflated responsibility. OCD does not choose values at random, it targets values important to the individual because the brain is wired to protect what matters most. Through ERP treatment, you can learn to rewire your body's alarm system to alert you when there is only a real threat in front of you.
The very fact that it attaches to an individual's values is part of one of the many symptoms of OCD.
Now, let’s dive deeper.
Egodystonic vs egosyntonic. These terms are important to understand in the context of OCD. As one can outline a normal reaction to an individual’s values and the other outlines how it can be distorted.
Egodystonic means that it contradicts the person's sense of self, it is the exact opposite of what they value. Egosyntonic means that it is aligned with who the person sees themself to be.
Here is an example of what a healthy egosyntonic action can look like: if someone who values kindness chooses to smile and say “hello” as they walk by a stranger. They are being kind and socially acute, this is a normal exchange and an egosyntonic person will walk away feeling satisfied.
When it is Egodystonic, OCD will distort one’s reality. It can look like this: you walk by a stranger, smile, and say “hello”. After the interaction, you start to question whether you were scowling at them or blurted out an obscenity. Or maybe it will try and convince you that you offended them by looking at them the wrong way and hurt their feelings. Although, objectively, that is not what happened, someone experiencing OCD will have their memory distorted.
The doubt that is created makes it difficult for individuals to trust their reality. The uncertainty is disorienting because kindness is a value and going against who they are at their core is distressing. The idea that they can even have the thought of hurting someone can create a level of distress that plagues individuals with doubt.
Having an inflated sense of responsibility is another symptom that needs to be navigated in an individual with OCD. Individuals will feel hyper responsible for what may or may not happen.
For example, someone who struggles with Harm OCD may be scared they could physically or emotionally harm someone else.
It can show up like this: a father is in the kitchen with his wife and two kids. He sees a knife on the table and starts to have an intrusive thought that says “what if you grab that knife and stab your child” or maybe it sounds like a command “ You are going to grab that knife and hurt the person nearest you.” Or maybe it shows up as an intrusive image and now all the gory details of what this would look like is looping in their brain. It can feel like a jump scare in a horror movie. In a jump cut, a gruesome scene is front and center in your brain. Even though you know it’s not real, your body still reacts to the image.
Without understanding that OCD is hijacking their brain, this father would feel incredibly distressed and may even remove himself from the situation and avoid being around the people he loves. Or maybe he tries to convince himself that he would never do that and to not worry, and to only let other people handle the knife. Each response based in fear reinforces the idea that having that thought is dangerous.
With the support from an OCD specialist you will have the right tools you need to overcome this struggle with constant fear. ERP therapy for OCD changes lives. You gain the confidence to understand how your brain works and what you need to do in order to be effective in your day to day life. Time spent with loved ones doesn't have to be avoided or filled with fear. There is hope with OCD treatment.
